Childhood Memories and Mishaps

Throughout my K-12 school experience, I brought my lunch to school. Most of the time, my mom, Melanie Johnson (saint), packed it for me. She usually included special things like notes, candy, trinkets, and other surprises. Sometimes if I were really lucky, she would send me with my all-time, favorite, most special food in the world, a butter sandwich.

I thought butter sandwiches were the fanciest sandwiches in the whole world; literally, I believed that no other 7 year old was sharing such a fancy lunch, only kings and queens from far away lands. When said sandwich so happened to appear in my lunch kit, I made sure not to tell anyone at the table for I was afraid they would beg to trade or ask for a bite. I couldn't risk losing such a delicacy, so I made sure to eat it secretly, tearing off small pieces and discreetly putting them in my mouth.



Reality check: In high school, I realized a few things...
A. Butter sandwiches are not normal/common/acceptable
B. Nor are they fancy
C. We had run out of lunch meat, and my mom found a crafty replacement.

Bathroom Backfire

So, it's that time of the month and I went to the bathroom to do certain business. While in my stall, someone comes in and takes the stall next to me (not commonly courtious). In an attempt to throw away my tampon cartridge, the trash can in the wall falls through to the stall and on to the lady, then on the ground with excessively loud bangs and clangs. I awkwardly mutter "uhh, sorry?" to receive a surprised "uh, it's. it's okay?"

Luck be a lady tonight.

Backstreet's Back... Alright?

In the car today, I began over analyzing and commentating the song "Everybody (Rock Your Body" by the Backstreet Boys and I thought I'd share.

Here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbKtMtYf2Cg

And the music doesn't start until 50 seconds of incredible acting and plot.

Everybody, yeah

[I think they're talking to me]
Rock your body, yeah

[Like, right now?]
Everybody, yeah

[Yeah, they're talking to me]
Rock your body right

[Well, if you say so...[INSERT PELVIC THRUST]]
Backstreet's back, alright
[If it involves hip thrusting, I'm down!]

Oh my God, we're back again

[Hallelujah!]
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing

[Wait, there's incest involved? God doesn't approve. And if this is an attempt at ethnicity, it failed.]
Gonna bring the flavor, show you how

[I feel like they might lick their siblings; I'm getting outta here.]
Gotta question for you better answer now, yeah

[That wasn't a question.]

Am I original?
Yeah

[Absolutely, way more original than Manuedo, N'Sync, New Kids on the Block, The Osmonds, The Beatles, The Beegees, and Earth Wind and Fire put together!!!]

Am I the only one?
[No, there's five of you]

Yeah

[No, that's wrong.]

Am I sexual?

[The only image in my head is of them touching each other]

Yeah

Am I everything you need?
You better rock your body now

[Not much time to answer and I think you want to sleep with me.]

Everybody
Yeah
Rock your body
Yeah
Everybody
Rock your body right
Backstreet's back, alright
Alright

[This part consisted of a self-prompted conversation, no need to respond on my part.]

Now throw your hands up in the air

[The initial encouragement of the whoo girl]

Wave them around like you just don't care

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keI59KRVco8]

If you wanna party let me hear you yell

[Wait, why yelling?]

Cuz we got it goin' on again
Yeah

[Could you remind me of the first time you so called had it going on?]